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As much as I love London, there are little things that I miss from France. Unexpectedly, I miss the lovely French ties that men wear in Paris. I had a stark reminder of this when I watched BBC news today and the presenter had a tie that was glowing in the dark. Literally. I had never seen so many colours on a tie. 

Over here, most men seem to wear ties that are coming from the sixties. I never understood why. It is simply everywhere. I have seen presenters wearing brown ties, poo-ish style. Or purple ones with light purple bubbles. Maybe it is part of their job description : if you want to be taken seriously, you need some awful ties.

Politicians are the same. Their ties can be awful. Maybe it is because of the recession: they are recycling their dad’s ties? I really wonder.

It is on the street, on the telly, at receptions, everywhere: ties over here can be horrendous. There ought to be a law against some. On the bright side, I am thinking of putting my dad’s ties on sale on eBay for some extra cash. I could make a fortune.

I am struggling to understand where such a bad taste in ties is coming from. I know that fashion is a relative concept but, come on, something has to be done to stop this. Maybe I should set up some sort of finishing school for men.

Anyway, to make it easier, here are a few pointers, and various examples of what to do and what not to do.
Less is more. I have seen ties that have two colours. One on each half (vertically, horizontally or even diagonally. I am not kidding you). Forget it. It is always better to stick to one good colour. Trust me on this one.
Avoid brown ties at all costs. I have never seen a brown tie that works. Never.
Green is a difficult one. Avoid it with a pink shirt because the message it is sending is ‘ I am colour blind’. You are warned now.
Disney characters on a tie are a no no. Unless you want to date Minnie Mouse, of course. In which case, well, go for it!
Stripes and spots on a tie don’t necessarily work. Just saying.
 Little hearts might work for a date but I am not sure that they would make the cut at work. Unless you are killing two birds with one stone and date your female colleague.
A tie must be of the right length. If you have a muffin top, which can happen to the best of us, your tie doesn’t have to stop in the middle of your tummy. 
Ask your wife/partner about your choice. I believe that the choice of ties says a lot about how you communicate with your wife. If you have one obviously. And, from the look of it, sometimes it isn’t that good…
Do yourself a favour: go casual today. Some men just don’t wear formal clothing naturally…
If you are still not sure about your choice, try to draw attention to something else. Wear a kilt!

I hope, that, over time, things will improve. In the meantime, I will just have to get over it!

Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London