Posted by / Category London /

Definition of a fuckwit, by the  Urban Dictionary: ‘a person who is not only lacking in clue but is apparently unable or unwilling to acquire clue even when handed it on a plate in generous portions.’ New year, new me? Well, not quite…the fuckwits are back with a vengeance. Have you noticed it? Well, now you are warned. They are more condescending than ever, and they will make a point of, well, scoring points. Fuckwits do not care about what you say, they are going to correct the way you say it, and will be immensely proud of themselves along the way. Fuckwits come in all forms and shapes. In France, I used to try to answer back to them with a witty comment. To be fair, it was quite easy because most comments were sexist and easy to brush off. That said, I think that I was wasting my energy. Fuckwits don’t learn.

In London, I have given up answering back. There is no point, anyway. You can’t educate a fuckwit.   And as English is not my mother tongue, I often think of something intelligent I could have said a couple of hours too late. Not very useful. Since the start of 2014, I have already had to deal with a few fuckwits, and, believe me, it wasn’t pleasant. This year, the British fuckwit seems to love to correct my bad English in public, and preferably in slightly humiliating ways. Don’t get me wrong: I know that English isn’t my first language, and I do appreciate it when people take the time to correct my mistakes. What I don’t like is when it is done in a nasty way, or with an ironic twist. I find it completely unnecessary. Let me take a couple of (very) recent examples: I moved house, and I have sent cards to my new neighbours to introduce ourselves. I started each card with ‘Dear new neighbour…’ One of my neighbours replied that we were the new neighbours, not him. Lovely touch. I could have thanked him for the vocabulary lesson. I didn’t. I let it slide. 

Then, at work, I wrote an email recommending triple glazing for a building (there were sound proofing issues). Instead of writing ‘triple glazing’, I made a typo and wrote ‘tripe glazing’. It happens, right, especially with a tablet? no big deal, and I am sure that everybody understood what I meant. A well-meaning colleague made the point of replying to all that ‘glazing with tripe may prove tricky’. How funny.

I am glad that nobody (not even me) answered back. It restored my faith in humanity. He might be a fuckwit, but I am surrounded by nice people. Well, that’s a relief!

So, tell me, what is it with fuckwits? How come they never learn? Why do they think that they are intelligent and witty when I find them full of themselves and condescending? Come to think if it, the fact that I am a French woman living in London must make me an easier target, right? I think that it might also be a personality thing: I care more about substance than style, and because of this I seem to attract fuckwits like a magnet. I really don’t know why. Where did I go wrong?

 As I am older now, I have learned to ignore silly comments. Onwards and upwards, as they say. For me, one thing is crystal clear: I will move on and not let fuckwits get in my way. On the bright side, lots of nice people are surrounding me. It is what matters, right?

And it gets better: I will be on the cover of The Times magazine this Saturday. No fuckwit, British or French, can take this away from me…
Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London
  • With you there…they are everywhere and you really can’t rise to them. Just smile, grit your teeth and repeat to yourself ‘s/he’s just a fuckwit’ several times.

    And congratulations on your cover story … will have to check it out!

  • Forget the fuckwits, it’s a global issue!

    On the other hand, being on the cover of The Times magazine is awesome – congrats – and bet you will make it to the cover of The Rolling Stone?

    • I am afraid that it might take some time for the Rolling Stone. I mean, a lot of time…

  • Muriel ~ you have my attention! It is the only time I drop the F bomb ~ and it is because there is no better word to use for people who act in this way. Good on you for being strong enough to let ride over you ~ and it doesn’t hurt to blog about it for the world to read đŸ™‚ Congratulations You ~ for this Saturday to come ~ I will have to find a way to get my hands/eyes on a copy to read. I live in Australia.

    • Hello Carol in Cairns -I wish I could find a way to come and say hello! I will post links & pics soon!

  • Hi Muriel. Love that word, fuckwit. Shame you’ve met so many of them though! I loved reading your post, very entertaining. Hope the fuckwits fade away soon. Congratulations on the cover story. That shows them! Andrea

    • Thank you Andrea! I can’t way to see the magazine…as for the fuckwits, well, it is just a small part of life, right?

  • Fuckwits are jealous dickwads.

  • [ Laughs ] I certainly learned a new word and a new definition.

  • Thanks, I’ve learned a new word today đŸ™‚ And congrats on the cover of The Times !

    • Thank you Anne! Don’t tell me you have never met a fuckwit! It is just the word, right?

    • I’ve met a lot of them don’t worry ! But I didn’t know the word, I don’t think it’s used that much in Ireland… They have other colourful names for this kind of people đŸ˜‰

    • Come on, tell us!

  • Depending on the mood I either ignore them or poke fun at them with some smart remark. Here we call them fucktards, btw.

  • Well, I think I may be one a lot because my boss is always yelling at me about something I said. But then English is his second language, too, bless his heart. I must live in a different place than you or anyone else who knows these words. Not that I don’t drop an F bomb occasionally, but I try not to. As portmanteau words, they are graphic. Congratulations on being on the cover of the Times. So cool.

    • Thank you! I can’t believe it myself. Yet another reason to forget about the F**wits.

  • Amongst the best advice I ever received: don’t let these people walk in your head with their dirty feet. Et felicitations pour l’article! C’est merveilleux et bien merite! Bien sur, you notice that I am not using accents while writing in your mother tongue. I’m lazy today, so fuck it!

    • Don’t worry: I don’t know where accents are on my keyboard anyway. How come you speak such good French? As for ‘these people’, as you call them, well, I will try to forget about them…

  • I can’t say that I’ve ever heard that term before… not even from my kids. You have to focus on the nice people around you. And congratulations on The Times!

    • It must be a British term I suppose. And you are right, it is better to focus on the good people!

  • Congratulations. I, as you, ignore!!

    • Well, between you and me, that’s what I try to do…But sometimes it is easier said than done…