Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, London /

Here is the latest instalment…I am still talking about schools (I am still traumatised…). Let me know what you think!

Chapter 10

School Stories

Schools often like parents to help by listening to children reading or supporting other activities. Getting involved in your childrens schools can be a full-time job (unpaid, of course): most schools have a parent-teacher association (PTA). You will be asked to help for fund-raising events such as bake sales and fairs. If you manage to get your child into the school, that is.

 

Life In the United Kingdom, (Almost) Official Study Guide

Unknown

March 2012 – She’s got a place!

 

Work is as busy as ever and I still need to find a good school for Alexandra. It just never stops. As I don’t want my toddler to miss out on a good school I have talked to friends and colleagues about the situation. They all tell me that I am far too naïve and that children need to be prepared for such assessments. How the hell was I supposed to know? Apparently, everybody does it but nobody talks about it.

 

A friend sent me straight to an acquaintance of hers, who, for a mere £300, prepares Alexandra for the assessment and the interview. She has been coming twice a week for the last three weeks. I am not supposed to tell anyone about this, it is all very hush-hush. The tutor, apparently, did me a favour. She said that she has a long waiting list. This is a business opportunity I need to look into, when I have some time. When you tutor a child, you get paid but the family can’t complain. In fact, the family can’t say anything.

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, Stereotypes /

It happened over the weekend. I was reading various newspapers when I stumbled upon yet another article on French women: this one explained that we French women are ditching tampons in favour of -wait for it- ‘instinctive bleeding’. You can read it here: http://metro.co.uk/2015/09/04/french-women-are-ditching-tampons-in-favour-of-instinctive-bleeding-using-pelvic-floor-muscles-5375971/

Seriously? Does anyone believe this? Call me wonder-woman please. I am totally in control of my bleeding and can hold it in. It is one of the many, many superpowers we French women enjoy. Don’t try to argue, it’s in our genes. You will never get it.

Seriously, this article is so wrong that I actually find it hilarious. Thanks for the laugh, guys. Right. Where to start? First, let me make a few things clear:

different-types-of-pads

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, London /

Right, it’s this time of the year: back to school and back to work. But here is a today’s treat: the latest chapter of Carine & Archie’s story. In this case, it’s more about Carine’s struggle to fit in…I hope that you can relate!

And in case you have missed it, here us the latest chapter: http://frenchyummymummy.com/a-cross-channel-romance-chapter-8/

IMG_3761

Chapter 9 – My New British Boss

Speaking English

 

To apply for UK citizenship or permanent residency, which TWO things do you need:

A A UK bank account

B An ability to read and speak English

C An ability to speak and write Oxbridge English

D A good understanding of life in the UK

E An Oyster card

F A driving licence

E An above-average ability to drink beer without getting too drunk.

 

Official responses are B and D. Dont be fooled, C and E are life savers in the UK.

 

Life in the United Kingdom, (almost) official Practice Questions

 

 

February 2012

 

I arrive late at work to find out that we have a new boss. His name is James. He looks serious, and very British too. I can’t help noticing that he is wearing stripes. The stripes are definitively back this year. He introduces himself to everyone, and I like the fact that he doesn’t gather us for a pep talk on his first day.

 

That said, my good mood quickly fades away when one of my notes on the governance of one of our major projects comes back to me by email with the following words.

“ I don’t understand. Please write in proper English’

Regards,

 

James”

 

Perplexed, I have a look at my note and can’t spot any grammatical mistakes. I can’t see any typos either. I read the note several times without understanding what is wrong with it. Come on, I don’t want to sing my own praises but it is actually quite good! I don’t get it and feel stuck. What is wrong with this guy?

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences /

hellogorgeoussm2

I know that we haven’t all been blessed with the gift of wit and nerves of steel, much less the skills required to hook a love interest. But, in fact, it’s perfectly all right to be a bit shy or even a bit clumsy. This is probably why the pickup line was invented even! But remember, the pickup line is a double-edged sword too – everything depends on how he or she will take it. And don’t forget that a good sense of humour can depend on culture and social rules as well. What can I say? We live in a complicated world! That being said, some pickup lines are simply deal breakers. You will need to avoid them at all costs.

This morning, for instance, I was coming back home from the gym when this guy stopped, and said:
“- Excuse me, do I know you from somewhere?”
Come on! If he knew me, then surely he would remember me. I would like to think that I am not someone you can forget so easily. So, either he was lying, or if it were true, he had completely forgotten about me. Did I make such a lame impression when we first met? I didn’t even reply. Frankly, there was no point.

I met up with a friend a bit later, and we discussed what had happened. As it turned out, she’d also had to deal with her fair share of really bad pickup lines. We had a good laugh and came up with a short list of the worst ones:

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences /

And here is the next chapter of Archie and Carine’s story. This is inspired from my own experience. Where I live in London, I discovered that little ones are assessed at the age of three. I was shocked…

You can read the last chapter here: http://frenchyummymummy.com/a-cross-channel-romance-chapter-7/

 

Education Act

 

The Education Act of 1944 introduced free secondary education for all in England and Wales. Obviously a lot has changed since then, and now you need to pay hefty fees to attend most schools, especially if you are living in London  and can’t find a decent state school (or don’t want to fake being religious).

 

Life In the United Kingdom, (Almost) Official Study Guide

 

February 2012

 

2012 is in fact much busier than 2011. I am working far too much and I have been talking to various colleagues. On top of everything else, I need to find a primary school for Alexandra. They all make me worry that I might have left it too late. Really? She is not even three yet!

‘Urban legend’ has it that it is very competitive to get into a good primary school in London. It can’t be true, can it? In France, you just have to go to the local school and that’s it, job done. I never had to go to a private school in France. All I had to do was to have good grades. It was a meritocracy. Everything was based on academic results, not interviews. In fact, if you were accepted to universities such as the ‘Ecole Polytechnique’, you might even get paid just to study there. But this is clearly not how things are over here.

French-flag

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences /

 

Have you read my latest column on Match? Here it is. It is an ode to kindness…

It was so much easier when we were younger, right? You could get a friend to ask him whether he liked you in the schoolyard, and you would get an answer right away. Well, those days are gone, and sometimes guys can be tough to read. To make matters even worse, in a global city like London people have different backgrounds, and can react in very different ways. It is hard to know what they really mean. French men, for instance, are usually quite forward, and if they like you, you’d know right away. British men can be a bit shy and wait forever before they consider making a move. Some men only open up when drunk. In short, there are no general rules. But I believe that, wherever you are and whomever you have a crush on, there is a telltale sign that will help you know in no uncertain terms whether he likes you. What is it?

Well, it’s called kindness.

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences /

As the whole world knows, a group of hackers released the list of Ashley Madison users, and day in, day out, everybody is talking about it. Why? Because Ashley Madison is a social networking site marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship, and its slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair” Not a day passes without new reactions. They range from ‘what goes around comes around’ or ‘it’s karma: the cheaters get cheated’ to ‘it’s a violation of privacy/an act of terrorism’ or ‘I sympathize with the users’. Whatever you think of this whole sorry affair, lawyers are now having a field day, and the full impact of the hack has yet to be assessed. This is compounded by the fact that the website was charging a fee for a full delete of users’ profiles, except that apparently the profiles were never erased (here come the damages!).

 

As for me, I will not comment on what is essentially a private matter for each user. And, frankly, I don’t think that judging others helps. Seriously, don’t you think that there is already enough nastiness in this world? And I must admit that I hate self-proclaimed paragons or virtue who are all about ‘do as I say, not as I do’. Don’t get me wrong, I am not naïve, but I believe that a private matter is exactly that: private.

Unknown-1 Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, London /

And here is the 7th chapter. Thank you for all your words of encouragement, I am so glad that you like this story -or that, in some cases, that it made you react! In case you have missed it, the latest chapter is here.
 
Happy New Year!
Values & Responsibilities
 
Which values and responsibilities should you have as a UK citizen or Permanent Resident (more than one response allowed)?
A To have lots of noisy house parties
B To stare at women’s cleavages at every possible opportunity
C To treat everyone equally
D To drink booze
I wonder if you can choose all four.
 
Life in the United Kingdom, (almost) official Practice Questions
 
 31/12/2011
Everybody at the office enjoyed the food. Archie seems to like his new job and has invited friends and new colleagues at home for a New Year Eve’s party. I love cooking and I thought that it would be nice to present a united front with Archie. After all, new year, new start, right? Onwards and upwards, as they say over here.
Glass_of_champagne
 

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, French food /

Usually, just because I am French, I am asked to choose the wines for outings, conferences and the likes. The thing is, I have no idea what to do, because I know next to zero about wine. But I can’t say so, because I am French and all French are supposed to be experts in such things, right? I had to learn a few tricks to be able to talk about wine. Why didn’t I just tell the truth? Well, because I would have had to write and print dozens of fliers and distribute them every day to acquaintances, friends and colleagues. That’s how bad it was. What to do? Once again, I learned to go with the flow…Here is how I did it:

Petrus_1931_chateau_card

Continue Reading

Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, London /

In case you have missed it, you can read the last chapter here

Back To London

IMG_3998 copy

Boxing Day

Bank holidays and public holidays are not the same thing. Christmas Day, the 25th of December, is a public holiday because it is a religious festival. Nobody knows whether Boxing Day should be a public holiday or a bank holiday. Dont count on the official books to enlighten you.

p93, Official study guide Boxing day on 26 December is a public holiday

p179 Official Practice Questions and Answers Boxing Day is the day after Christmas day and is a bank holiday

Nobody really understands the difference between the two but the common consensus is that you dont have to go to work on either a Bank holiday or a public holiday, which, after all, is what matters. That said, be careful not to get it wrong on the day of the test.

Life In the United Kingdom, (Almost) Official Study Guide

 

I wake up and start getting ready for another day of work. Steven half sits on the bed and mumbles, half-asleep:

“-What is going on?”

“-Well, it is Monday, I am going to work!”

“-Darling, you don’t need to, it is Boxing day!”

Continue Reading