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It is all over the newspapers today: we French women are quite competitive. I am no exception. OK, I will go straight to the point: I need to be reassured. Right here. Right now. Let me explain: Valerie Trierweiler, the scorned ex-First Lady of France, is on the cover of this Saturday’s Times magazine.

I am gutted. It is all going downhill from here, right?

First of all, I think that I look better than her. Please tell me that I look better. Then, I think that it is totally unfair that she has such an advantage simply because she slept with the French president. Because I never have. And I never will. We have an expression in French ‘S’il etait dans mon lit, j’irais dormir dans la baignoire’, which translates as ‘if he was in my bed, I would sleep I the bathtub’. That’s exactly how I feel about Mr Hollande. I simply don’t understand what women see in him.

As much as I agree that she has been treated appallingly, the whole story is, after all, a common one. Of course, the President behaved like boor and a liar. And an amateur: some of my French friends believe that his main mistake was to get caught. That said, at the end of the day, he dumped her for a younger actress. Yawn. Something similar happened to a couple of acquaintances of mine and it didn’t make the headlines. The French way to get her revenge would have been to publicly go out with a toy boy and leave proudly. The fact that she completely broke down is at the same time touching and incredibly naive. I am of two minds about what she went through. Because what goes around comes around, right? After all, she was the mistress before becoming the girlfriend, and everybody knows that when a man officialise his relationship with his mistress, it creates a vacancy. Having said this, it was a very public humiliation, and I suppose that we can’t fully comprehend the magnitude of his betrayal. In short, it is a sad and slightly sordid story with no hero and no villain.

There is a happy ending for her: the affair allowed her to get a great publishing deal, and the publicity that she is getting is simply amazing. Would people be interested in knowing how my heart got broken when I was younger? I seriously doubt it. Damn it. I will never understand how these things work. 

Today, I wanted to set the record  straight: I don’t like it when women get famous because of the men they have relationships (or one-night stands) with. It must be the old feminist in me. Because, come on, I am sure that she is more than a scorned girlfriend. Could we please talk about what she has achieved rather than her sex life? Oh, and I didn’t sleep with anyone to be on the cover. Just saying. 

Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London
  • Love your humorous approach to this. Yes, you definitely have more to offer than Valerie. Her story is here today and gone tomorrow while yours will go on for a long time to come. However, if I were a publicly scorned woman/former mistress like Valerie Trierweiler, I’d make as much out of it as I could while the news was still hot. What’s more, it’s revenge on a big scale, and there’s nothing sweeter than getting back at the bastard who threw you over for a newer model.

    • I can understand how she feels. That said, I don’t think that writing such a book will help her to heal. In fact, I think that it will have the opposite effect.

  • you look AMAZING, Muriel!

  • You look a hundred times better dear Muriel. Hows ‘that’ for some TLC? 😉

    • Thank you very much Rohit! I must also admit that, from reading her interview, I feel a lot better too!

  • That photo of Valoche is seriously Photoshopped. Yours looks natural and, frankly, you look to be a much nicer person, and it shows. 🙂

    I have no sympathy for VT, and I read recently that even her hospital stay was programmed by the Elysée. Lies and manipulation are all we get from the news, so who knows what went on. We do know that she was very publicly humiliated, and I don’t think she deserved that. Still, she’s now set up for life financially, so she made the most of it.

    • It’s a case of too much information, right?And I have to say that I am becoming sick and tired of hearing the same story over and over again.

  • Anonymous

    I think you look much better Muriel!! That pose you are doing with the finger on the lips is so sexy and French! Why has Valerie decided to hold a french baguette? It just enhances the steretypes about French women which I don’t think is helpful at all.

    Keep up the good work Muriel!

    • I know exactly who you are, Anonymous. No need for snide comments, Valerie! 🙂

  • You simply look better and more natural than her… !!

    • Thank you Anne! I simply hate it when women are known because of the men they slept with…

  • You are definitely a cut above Miss T. I have no time to waste on her, or her book. She had no qualms about having an affair with a married man, so why should we have felt sorry for her when it was her turn to be dumped? What I find particularly funny is that Segolène Royale was the person who introduced François to Julie Gayet. Clever girl. It looks like she knew him down to a T.

    • It is all a very incestuous world, isn’t it? They all know each other. Well, intimately…

  • Oh Muriel, I have one word for you….Kardashian. I ALWAYS ask myself how life can be so unfair, how the Kardashians can be so popular, have tv, radio and publishing deals when really, I’m pretty sure I’m smarter than them. I guess I need a bigger butt???? hehehhee…….

    • Well, at least they don’t cheat on each other (yet?). And a big butt is always an asset, right?