Have you noticed that we women have a much tougher deal than men? Seriously, why do we have so much pressure on our shoulders? How are we supposed to ‘have it all’? Seriously, just try to list all we have to do all the time:
1. We have to look good
2. We have to be great cooks BUT..
3. We mustn’t put on weight -of course we mustn’t (see point 1)
4. We have to take care of the children, the household, and sometimes a job on top of everything else (don’t talk to me about sharing the workload, we women always end up with more than our fair share. Always. Sorry, guys.)
5. We have to pretend that we are not tired (no, Darling, not at all) when hubby is in need of some affection
6. We must always be a good daughter/wife/sister/friend/person…(doesn’t it upset you that men can get away with murder when we get slammed just because we forgot a birthday card or, even worse, we got a bit angry at someone or something? Seriously, why the double standard? )
7. We have to justify our every move when men NEVER get a single comment about their choices (Yes, I want to run a marathon. But what about the time it will take to train? Now give me a break, this is a question you wouldn’t ask if I were a guy. See what I mean?)
And so on, and so forth. It just never stops.
I totally baked this. It wasn’t from our chef that evening, Cesar Fernandez.
Let’s be realistic here: if you manage to do everything, you are heading for a severe burnout faster than you might think. I wish they had told us this at school, I would have stopped trying to excel at everything from the very start. As I happen to be a French woman, I call a spade a spade. So here it is: we can’t have it all. Or at least not at the same time. This basically leaves us women with two solutions:
Leave everything and move to a desert island with nobody to talk to. Don’t laugh, I have seriously considered it. I confess that I sometimes long to take care of myself. As in, just of myself. Wouldn’t it be much easier, for once, to put my needs before everybody else’s? Pure bliss. This means that if, one day, you don’t hear about me, I might have gone as far away as possible to live in a hut near the beach. Don’t worry, I will be just fine. Just leave me alone.
Fake it. How do you do this?
Yummy! (halibut with salt baked shallots and broccoli tabbouleh)
Delegate. Delegate, Delegate. At my age, I know my limitations. And I am not going to apologise for them. For instance, I might be French, but I don’t really enjoy cooking. Don’t get me wrong, I will do a decent job if I have to (ahem…the toasts won’t be burnt, I promise), but it’s not my thing. I really like baking, but that’s as far as it goes (ah, cakes!). So imagine my surprise when I found out that you can hire a chef just for the evening, in the confort of your own place. This service was proposed by La Belle Assiette. The chef will prepare everything, cook, and clean for you. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy your guests instead of slaving away in the kitchen. Why hadn’t anyone told me? Fiona of London Unattached invited me to such a party at her place last week and it was simply great. On top of having great food (just look at the pictures if you don’t believe me), Fiona treated us with lovely wines from California (and as I badly miss the sun I loved them despite being French). I especially liked the Grand reserve Chardonnay 2011 (and of course it happened to be the most expensive one. Obviously. That’s just me). The wines were Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Chardonnay 2013, Kendall-Jackson Grand Reserve Chardonnay 2011 (both available at TheDrinkShop), Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve Pinot Noir 2012 (available at wine direct), and Carmel Road Monterey, available at CorneyAndBarrow.
Prioritise. Delegate the cleaning if you can. Come to think of it, nobody will die if you don’t do it right away. So take it easy. Get your grocery deliver at your doorstep. Why do we always want to do everything at once? We need to try to stop multitasking at every possible opportunity, because we are bound to forget something in the end.
Obviously you can’t delegate everything (point 5 can of course be delegated, but at your own risk I am afraid). Obviously. But that’s not an excuse not to delegate anything.
Stop apologising. No, seriously, why do we always have to be perfect? Isn’t it time for others to accept us just the way we are?
And if you don’t look good, pretend that you do. Fake it. After all, it is all about confidence. We usually look better than we think anyway. Wear fake fur, and pretend that your fake pearls are real ones. Nobody knows the difference anyway.
And if all of this doesn’t work, I can always go back to my island.