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Eugene Delacroix, La liberte guidant le peuple

From the Sunday newspapers, it certainly looks like the French don’t do romance any more. They have replaced it by vaudeville. When did it all happen? How come I didn’t see it coming? I don’t know. Seriously, why do French politicians put their love life on display like it is some sort of show? In case you started hibernating a few of months before winter is actually supposed to start, here is a recap of last week’s French affairs. Bear with me, it is quite complicated:

    Valerie Trierweiler, President Hollande’s jilted lover, has written a revenge book on their tempestuous relationship. She mentioned that her ex-partner used to mock the poor despite being a socialist, and even called them ‘toothless’. Despite Francois Hollande’s denial, she says that she has evidence of this. It looks like we will know everything, eventually. I wonder what’s next. Come on, Valerie, just publish the text messages and let’s get it over with!

    Julie Gayet, who used to be the President’s mistress when he was with Valerie Trierweiler (did you follow?), has a bodyguard now. This is highly unusual. Is she the official girlfriend now? If so, why did she go on holidays with somebody else? Go figure. I wonder if the bodyguard brings the croissants too.

    Arnaud Montebourg, who was sacked from the French government a few weeks ago for criticising it a tad too openly, has been caught in California frolicking with another ex-minister, Aurelie Filipetti. Maybe they started comforting each other after he got the sack -I am speculating here, obviously. Montebourg’s known lovers over the past two years or so have included one journalist, Audrey Pulvar, one actress, Elsa Zylberstein, and now the ex-culture minister, Aurelie Filipetti. As much as I agree with the right to a private life, this is becoming a bit too much. Can’t French politicians have a love life without the whole world knowing about it? Here is a thought: maybe we French should be allowed to bet on the life expectancy of Arnaud Montebourg’s relationships. Or how about trying to predict who is with who? That surely would be a way to reduce the French deficit.
In short, France is, once again, making the headlines for all the wrong reasons. I can’t help thinking that Anglo-Saxon politicians are a bit better. My dentist, whom I shared this opinion with, and whom I saw a lot recently (don’t ask), wanted to know why. I blurted out ‘they have less mistresses’. There it is. Or at least, less publicly.

Suffice to say, I am gutted, and I can’t stand this charade any more. I am not proud to be French right now. That said, on a different front, there are some good news. An old friend of mine (by old, I mean that we have known each other for, like, 25 years) got engaged over the weekend. Her new boyfriend is so besotted that he popped the question at the very start of the relationship, only after a few weeks. She said yes, they are insanely happy, and I can’t wait for the wedding reception. And, if your must know, he is German. I am really starting to believe that romance is wasted on the French.
Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London