Posted by / Category London /

For once we were on time for the school run. Miracles do happen, after all. I was pleased with myself. I was about to make a left turn on Cromwell Road when I saw them: horses were all over Cromwell Road. At least 50 of them. The traffic had come to a standstill.

Damn it.

That’s the beauty of living in London. You can get stuck on one of the main streets during rush hours because of the Royal Horse Guards taking their horses to Hyde Park for a morning training session. Lucky me.
There was nothing to do but to wait. So we waited and moved very, very slowly.


Eventually, the horses made a right turn on Exhibition Road. Phew!

My Chelsea tractor was right behind the last horse. I was relieved. That said, as luck would have it, just before turning, the horse lifted his tail and, mischievously,  started defecating on my car. The law of gravity can be deceptive: something  fell on one of the car’s front lights. I can’t understand how it happened but it did. Yuck!

The guard was finding it absolutely hilarious. I was a bit, well, surprised, but I suppose that you have got to learn even at my (old) age, and this was a situation I had never encountered before.

Maybe it is part of the exam to get your driving licence over here? How do you react at the wheel when a horse decides to leave a parting present on your car? They should add this to the citizenship test -I probably need to send a letter somewhere about it.

Anyway, we made it to school eventually and nobody said anything about the car. I am sure that I could have put a positive twist on it but I had had enough emotions for a day!

Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London
  • Deborah

    Well, if you’re going to get horse poo on your car, it might as well be from a dashing source! The reason the guard was laughing was that a certain class of Englishman will always think lavatorial jokes are absolutely hilarious. Sad but true…

  • jenny woolf

    What a thing to happen! I am glad to say it has never happened to me.
    I saw some horses in Kensington gardens the other day – I wonder if they were the same ones, on the way back.

  • SarahHague

    They say that variety is the spice of life, and having a dashing horse do a poo on your car is certainly a deviation from the norm. And there’s always Karcher or Elephant to remove the evidence!

  • I love horses! Maybe because they haven’t halted the traffic ever! 🙂

    They would make for a lovely distraction as far as I think… 😉

  • MuMuGB

    Lovely isn’t exactly the word that I would have used…

  • MuMuGB

    There is indeed. The rain seems to have washed it all out. Phew!

  • MuMuGB

    Maybe…You were luckier than me. It can only happen in London, can’t it?

  • MuMuGB

    All men are the same, Deborah! They all love silly jokes. At least most of them. Some things never change, in France or in this country!

  • I once saw a copper on a horse chase a bike thief. He’d just slammed into the side of a mail lorry after I’d tried to freak him out by lunging at him as he rode past me on Upper Street, whilst being chased by a suit shouting STOP THIEF! the wierdest chain of events I’ve ever seen. the horse was just the icing on the cake.