She caught me off guard. I vaguely knew her, and we ended up having a quick coffee together after the school run. I thought it was a nice thing to do, because we kept bumping into each other at the school gate. That’s when she told me:
” I pride myself on never having used a babysitter or a cleaner. Ever. And I have three kids”
Wow. Did I sense a judgy vibe here? Yes, probably. Hmmm…
I couldn’t believe it. You see, some things never change: whatever nationality you are, you will always be judged as a mother. It just never stops. And, frankly, it sucks.
I didn’t know what to answer. I ended up cutting the conversation short, and leaving shortly afterwards. You see, I have no time for such arguments. The thing is, I am probably one of the worst housekeepers you have ever met, and without the help of various babysitters and cleaners I would have died of exhaustion by now. Not to mention that someone has yet to explain to me how to be in two different places at the same time. Simply put, I wouldn’t have survived if I hadn’t had help, and I never get enough of it.
The whole episode started to make me feel guilty. Was I a bad mum? Yes, I returned to work right after my maternity leave. So what? If she managed to get everything done without help, well, good for her. It’s just not my definition of being a successful mother. It’s just not me, in fact. I pride myself on having a business, a blog, and two well-balanced children who can look up to their mum. I am fine with my choices, just please don’t judge me. Because just like most mums, I am doing what I can.
There was only one thing for it. I wasn’t going to let myself be put me down in such a way, right? I took full advantage of the available technology and booked myself a babysitter for the evening. That’s the beauty of living in London: help is just one click away…Because why wouldn’t I take advantage of a site like KidSitter? And what did I do with my time? Well, I had a lovely massage to make me forget the whole episode. It worked. I am feeling much better, and a lot less guilty. And repeat after me: don’t judge me for my choices. I am just doing what I can. Actually, how about getting a babysitter for Mothers Day this weekend? Wouldn’t it be a great idea?