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WAG: is an acronym, used particularly by the British tabloid press, to describe the wives and girlfriends of high-profile footballers

My daughter had an occasional day of holiday on Friday. This is because the year 6 girls are starting the 11+ exams and had the computer-based tests at her school. I am so glad that we have passed this phase…(see here to understand how traumatised I was about the whole thing). We therefore decided to have a nice breakfast in a coffee shop close to Sloane Road. We had never tried it before and were looking forward to it.
We sat down and after a while a reluctant server came to take our order. You will be pleased to know that the croissants were nice.
Then, 5 minutes later, a well-known footballer came in with his latest squeeze (if even I know him, he must be really famous – I tend to prefer rugby, I like men to be men, not pretty boys). She had high heels, a mini skirt and was fully made up (as in plaster on the face) at 8 am.
The happy couple was swiftly served and started snogging shamelessly. Lovely.
It was only the start. Another WAG-look-alike entered, with huge sunglasses, track suit bottoms and high heels came in and sat with her boyfriend.
My daughter and me were under the impression that we were not quite fitting in. This was confirmed by the fact that we were joined at our table by a blonde russian-speaking lady. She was middle-aged, skinny, and her facial expression was impossible to read. It was, well, frozen. My well-informed daughter muttered “Botox” to me and as usual she was spot-on.
We quickly paid and left. A last glance at the window confirmed that the footballer and his WAG were still kissing -a relationship that survives breakfast is probably a serious one  in such a world!
Let’s just say that I don’t think we will come back. Or if we do, I need to invest in higher heels.

Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London