I found out a few days ago that we have new neighbours in our street. They just moved into one of the houses on the other side of the street. They seem like a nice family. Mental note to self: need to knock at their door to say hello at some point.
That said, when I was going out to start the school run yesterday, my new neighbour was putting his rubbish in front of his house, for the Thursday’s bin collection. The thing is, he was in his boxers. I mean: just his boxers (they had yellow and pink stripes. Lovely). Truth be told, he doesn’t exactly look like Brad Pitt or Daniel Craig and I wasn’t thrilled to see his bulging tummy without anything on. I actually pretended I hadn’t seen him (I think that I deserve an Oscar for my performance as he was standing less than 5 yards away) and we didn’t speak.
The problem was that I can’t help thinking of my new neighbour’s bottom and I am terrified to see it again. It is the first time in my life that I wish for a really cold winter. He would need to get out in his coat. As long as it is not stripy as well we’ll be fine. The British summer usually doesn’t last long anyway. I should be ok. I hope. I am stressed.
I am becoming paranoid too. I think that I saw him in his PJs this morning. Next time, I promise, I will confront him and say “hello”. That’s the polite thing to say, isn’t it? Very civilised. If he doesn’t get it, I will add “nice underwear”. That should do the trick.
I don’t think that it’s a British thing. Where I am from, close to St Tropez, our next door neighbour is naked most of the time and sunbathing on her balcony. She is also hanging up her laundry without anything on. My 90-year old grandfather is absolutely delighted as it provides him with some year-long entertainment. He told me the other day that she had had a boob job and, frankly, it was disgusting and looked like plastic. He would know, he has been watching her for the last ten years. I have always thought of her as a charitable lady and was even considering writing her a thank you card.
That cannot be said of our next door neighbour. On the bright side, this shows that he is very much at ease in his house. I don’t know what to do.
So how do you deal with such situations?
Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London