Posted by / Category Cultural Differences, French food /

It’s pancake day today. Before you ask, in France we call it Mardi gras (literally, Fat Tuesday).

Except that this year I can’t stuff my face.

Sigh.

Why?

You don’t want to see me smiling with my teeth…

Well, to cut a long story short, I’ve got braces (I know, so un-French, right?), and I have already lost at least one kg (that’s exactly 2.2 lbs for those of you who don’t do kg) in less than 5 days. And no, apparently  I can’t have Invisalign or other things, because of what needs to be corrected. Bummer. My mouth feels dry all the time, and I am in a bad mood. I have gone back to baby food, save for the melted dark Belgian chocolate that they sell in my local supermarket (it’s a life saver, and I need to buy another pot). You’ve got to live a little, right?

In short, I don’t like it. I can’t chew, I have a metallic taste in my mouth all the time, and I feel like I can’t run any more (That’s my excuse anyway). To make matters even worse, I need to make pancakes (well, the French version of it) for the whole family, but I am not sure to be able to have some. Damn it. I am seriously considering going on pancake strike. That would be French, wouldn’t it? There is nothing like a good old strike.

I resent my orthodontist who minimised the discomfort (I have just sent him an angry email, and I must admit that I immediately felt better). I resent my parents who gave braces to my sibling, but didn’t even notice that I needed them too. Of course they didn’t. In fact, I sometimes wonder whether they saw me at all.

On the bright side, I can’t smile the way I used to, and I look a lot more, well, enigmatic (as in, moody). My French accent has gone ten times worse, and I even have a lisp -my daughters love it.  I sincerely hope that things will get better soon. Otherwise, I’ll have to have my braces removed and learn to love my crooked teeth.

On this note, I wish you all a happy pancake day. Please stuff your face for me & have a great time! Damn it, when does it get easier?