Posted by / Category Cultural Differences /


As a mother, life is never, ever dull. And when you are French in London, somehow you can double the fun. What can I say? Someone must have it in for me, it was the only possible explanation. Because so far, it had been a morning just like any other. We were a bit in advance, and were therefore waiting in the car for the school gates to open. My 7-year-old was revising her Spanish vocabulary, and I decided to check my emails. Fatal mistake. The school wanted me to fill yet another permission slip for an outing. Fine, I would have to deal with this later, because I had to put it in the calendar. There was an unusual message. A French company had emailed me (in English of course. Life is incredibly complicated). Basically, they wanted me to advertise their ‘kinky, funny and high-end products’ on this blog.

What ? What ? What?

‘Mum, I know my words now. Can I play Mr Crab on your phone?’


Me ‘Absolutely Not’
‘ But why?’
‘Mummy needs her phone right now’. 

The email promised to ‘put some ooh la la! in a couple’s life’ and went on to explain that they had created a new concept full of ‘French sophistication and kinkiness’. Blame the French for kinkiness. As usual.

OMG. I was stunned. In shock. What to do? My blog is family-friendly, and I would never, ever agree to advertising this. Let’s reply that I can’t/won’t/whatever/not in a million years. I don’t do kinky on the blog, and I might be French but I don’t do kinky during the school run. Anyway, my point is that my mind was very, very far from these things.

‘Mum, I need the phone!’ my daughter snatched it from my hands.
‘What were you doing mum?’ 

‘Give me the phone back! ‘ I started to panic.

She was going to see the message. No, no, no! She might even forward it to the school -I had saved the form for the outing as a draft. Long story short: I was in a deep, deep s*?!t. 

‘Did you delete Mr Crab?’
I managed to take the phone back.
‘It is rude to snatch mummy’s phone, Darling!’
I was going to have panic attack, the email had gone. It wasn’t on the screen any more. 

‘Mummy, what’s wrong?’
Right, first things first. Let’s take her to school. 

‘ Everything is fine, Darling’  Big fat lie.
‘ Now have a great day!’

‘ What’s kinky, mummy?’ damn it, she saw the email. 
‘Don’t speak too loud.’ On the bright side, her reading skills had really improved, right?
‘ I will explain tonight. Just don’t say it at school, it’s not appropriate, OK’
‘ OK, mummy’ 

Crisis averted.

Let’s check the phone now. The email seemed to have gone to the right recipient. Phew. Well, I hoped. Seriously, who sends kinky emails during the school run? So uncivilised. I thought that I had had enough emotions for at least a week. Now, I had to hope that the school wouldn’t call. So far, so good…Keep your fingers crossed for me…

Muriel – A French Yummy Mummy In London
  • It’s all those professionally-taken pictures of you looking amazing in your heels and black dress that’s got them confused.

    I don’t envy you the discussion with your daughter though. Children NEVER forget.

    • She hasn’t talked about it just yet. I was sort of hoping she had forgotten. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

  • I wonder how many times your daughter said kinky that day. I know when I was younger, my friend picked up the word horny and said it constantly for months.

  • All I got today was a proposal to publish an inforgraphic on my blog. About hives. !!! 😀

    • I am happy to forward you the email if you fancy something different 🙂

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