I woke up in a bad mood. First of all, I am not a morning person. Especially before my morning’s coffee. And to make matters even worse, over the weekend the clock went forward by an hour (which effectively means that we lost an hour). In short, I was a bit cranky. As a result, when I had to run a few errands after dropping the kids off to school, I couldn’t smile. Because, you see, I am normally a happy-go-lucky sort of person. Not very French, I know. But today I was a bit, well, sombre. And tired, if you must know.
The thing was, people seemed to love it. Seriously, I was getting a lot more attention than usual. A guy (who could have been my son) smiled at me, and asked me what was wrong. I managed not to smile but his question made me feel like a million dollar. It was only the start: the cashier was all smiles and opened a new till for me. The barista gave me a free cappuccino to help me wake up. Not to mention that I was called ‘Darling’ ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Pumpkin’ more times than I could count.
Dear oh dear. Maybe I should be grumpy more often. Seriously, everybody seems to like it. Especially men, if you must know.
From now on I will not smile. Ever!
Old memories came back to me: at school, it was always the girls who were never smiling who had advances from boys. So unfair, right? Maybe I was just smiling too much at the time? Hmmm, I am not so sure. I think that it was more because of my terrible bowl haircut. I will never know.
Maybe men are confusing our grumpiness for a sign of affection. For some reason it looks like they love women with issues. Don’t you find it weird? Why would men prefer grumpy women? Is it because they want to play Daddy and offer a protective shoulder to lean on? Ooooh, I sense tears coming to my eyes right now. Am feeling so very sad. Does anyone want to console me? (I am joking of course). Damn it, I can’t believe I have wasted all these years just being my happy self.
But all is not lost. The good news is that we women have a lot to be grumpy about. In no particular order: cleaning, doing the laundry, paying the bills, having our periods, bikini waxing, delivering babies, grocery shopping, wiping children’s butts, making a living, and so on, and so forth…Maybe it is time for us to embrace our grumpy side a bit more, after all. And if men like it, why not? It is a win-win thing. Who would have thought?
In short, it is time NOT to smile. I know, I know, it feels completely counter-intuitive, but what can I say: this morning proved that you get more when you don’t smile. What a revelation!
And if you found this post funny, please don’t smile.