Posted by / Category Looking Good /

I woke up in a bad mood. First of all, I am not a morning person. Especially before my morning’s coffee. And to make matters even worse, over the weekend the clock went forward by an hour (which effectively means that we lost an hour). In short, I was a bit cranky. As a result, when I had to run a few errands after dropping the kids off to school, I couldn’t smile. Because, you see, I am normally a happy-go-lucky sort of person. Not very French, I know. But today I was a bit, well, sombre. And tired, if you must know.

The thing was, people seemed to love it. Seriously, I was getting a lot more attention than usual. A guy (who could have been my son) smiled at me, and asked me what was wrong. I managed not to smile but his question made me feel like a million dollar. It was only the start: the cashier was all smiles and opened a new till for me. The barista gave me a free cappuccino to help me wake up. Not to mention that I was called ‘Darling’ ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Pumpkin’ more times than I could count.

Dear oh dear. Maybe I should be grumpy more often. Seriously, everybody seems to like it. Especially men, if you must know.

 

 

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From now on I will not smile. Ever!

Old memories came back to me: at school, it was always the girls who were never smiling who had advances from boys. So unfair, right? Maybe I was just smiling too much at the time? Hmmm, I am not so sure. I think that it was more because of my terrible bowl haircut. I will never know.

Maybe men are confusing our grumpiness for a sign of affection. For some reason it looks like they love women with issues. Don’t you find it weird? Why would men prefer grumpy women? Is it because they want to play Daddy and offer a protective shoulder to lean on? Ooooh, I sense tears coming to my eyes right now. Am feeling so very sad. Does anyone want to console me?  (I am joking of course). Damn it, I can’t believe I have wasted all these years just being my happy self.

But all is not lost. The good news is that we women have a lot to be grumpy about. In no particular order: cleaning, doing the laundry, paying the bills, having our periods, bikini waxing, delivering babies, grocery shopping, wiping children’s butts, making a living, and so on, and so forth…Maybe it is time for us to embrace our grumpy side a bit more, after all. And if men like it, why not? It is a win-win thing. Who would have thought?

In short, it is time NOT to smile. I know, I know, it feels completely counter-intuitive, but what can I say: this morning proved that you get more when you don’t smile. What a revelation!

And if you found this post funny, please don’t smile.

 

 

 

  • James Casserly

    The late great George Carlin said it best, Women are Crazy because Men are Stupid.

    • I checked him out and loved his dry sense of humour. Thanks for the recommendation!

  • It was very, very hard. Not to smile, that is – after reading your post. You are onto something, Muriel. Maybe you could incorporate some advice based on this newly-found philosophy in your new weekly column? This could well work, you know. Still not smiling, by the way. Promising myself to wake up grumpy tomorrow – I do hate losing that hour of sleep when clocks go forward.

    • Let’s be grumpy together, Beata. It’s time to embrace this side of our personality…

  • carol hedges

    Hahahaha nah, you’re not being serious! *smile* though I have to say, I do get chatted to far more if I have my ‘thoughtful’ face on. …maybe…..hm….

    • See, my point exactly: men LOVE grumpy woman.

  • I am smiling, sorry I know it’s not sexy!

    • I knew it Mac. You guys never learn! Tess…

  • AnnMullen

    MuriEL, sad to say, I am nearly always grumpy and even look that way when I am not. I have almost never had anyone care. I think you have to be as beautiful as you are to get compassion. Oh well.

    • Thank you Ann. That said, between you and me, I am very normal…x

  • Smiles have always worked for me! But now I begin to understand a few things – like why women in France never smile (particularly at other women!) And why women here get so annoyed at men who mistake their frowns for advances (or invitations to advance!), and who tell them to, “Cheer up, darling!” or ask, “Why don’t you smile? C’mon, love, give us a smile!” It’s just a case of miscommunication – not sexual harassment! Of course. It’s a guy thing to want to FIX what (they perceive) is broken. Of course a frown seems like an opportunity for them to shine!

  • Urban Mumble

    It’s because not smiling makes you look like a model. Think Victoria Beckham or Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen them smile? Neither have we! Yet they look gorgeous. I do think a smile is a woman’s best accessory but being dressed up elegantly and not smiling can definitely give you that je-ne-sais-quoi.